[Read] ➭ Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys By Dan Kindlon – Ebooks2020.co


10 thoughts on “Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

  1. says:

    I have three boys, so I bought this book several years ago and it sat around Recently my school disctrict decided to have an open discussion based on this book, so I decided to read it.This is a depressing and dangerous book The authors are psychologists who have worked with boys men, but I truly believe they lost touch with the fact that their patients were troubled people The conclusions that are drawn are based on the worst examples, and they offer no suggestions about how to solve what they see as boy problems.The book tries to set a stadnard of behaviour based on the horrible events at Columbine, and warns that if we continue to yell at our children, we will teach them even violent interactions In short, they assume that all interactive problems with boys and men today are because boys aren t taught to express their feelings the same way girls are While I agree that freedom of emotional expression is typically of a female traight, I m not convinced that it is due to nurture alone, nor do I think it is the root of all evils.


  2. says:

    As a woman raising a son in a 2 mom household, I have found myself very focused on what it means to be a boy in our culture I consider myself lucky to have a hand in raising a son to be a fine man, while also scared sh tless about all the ways that it can go wrong Raising Cain has been an eye opening read, albeit certainly not a comforting one This is certainly not a how to manual which the authors clearly state in the preface that they don t intend to be , and much of a why we have to account I haven t seen any other book focus so much on the inner lives of boys , and reading this has made me re examine many of my own beliefs and feelings about boys and boy behavior I give it 4 stars b c it s a critically important topic, well written by two experienced authors but not 5 b c I would have appreciated specifics about the how what now.


  3. says:

    This is one non fiction book that I have read cover to cover, and that is really rare for me I have been seeking a book that might help me understand my son better and how to help him grow up to be an emotionally, psychologically healthy man I finally found a good one, after LOTS of lemons This authors of this book are psychologists who bring many years of experience to this topic They are also talented writers who are able to convey vast amounts of psychological knowledge in easy to understand terms and weave it together with numerous case study examples that are presented in story form This inclusion of multiple true life stories is most likely what kept me reading.I learned a lot from Raising Cain about how to understand Max s energy level, need for approval and admiration, desire to be seen as powerful and intelligent, and how to raise him to rise above the cultural stereotypes of men that our culture has created I highly recommend it for mothers of boys, and I will keep my copy close by to refer back to as Max gets older and goes through new phases and changes.


  4. says:

    The authors of Raising Cain Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys describe a society our boys are growing up in that is cruel and suppressive, imposing impossible expectations of masculinity Boys are encouraged to compete ruthlessly, to remain unaware of their inner lives, and to avoid any expression or behavior that smacks of the feminine Fathers, being emotionally illiterate themselves, are disconnected from their boys mothers are a bit involved but at a loss for how to deal with their sons Can a boy possibly grow up unscathed The authors offer a plethora of case studies to support their alarmist conclusions about boys upbringing, and there lies the rub the authors examples almost invariably describe deeply troubled boys from troubled backgrounds I would find the authors arguments about general society far convincing if there were a larger representation of mainstream boys who resemble most of the boys and men I know guys who grow up or less happy and successful, who manage despite our admittedly imperfect society and even imperfect family backgrounds at times to get through school, hold down jobs, avoid drugs and alcohol, and even enter at least one long term committed relationship But these are not the boys we hear about in the book, and as such, boys society in general is painted as a cruel place where it is impossible to grow up normal.It s rather ironic that other books I have read accuse society of attempts to feminize boys rather than appreciating their uniquely masculine characteristics At times, the authors seem to agree When we the authors mentioned that school might be a feminine place, she a third grade teacher reacted somewhat defensively School isn t a feminine place It is a human place, a civilized place, she said It s just easier for girls to adapt to it p 24 The authors point out that boys in childhood tend to develop impulse control slowly than girls do and to need a higher level of physical activity, aspects to which they feel teachers are not sufficiently attuned At the same time, the authors describe boys society as pushing images of macho ness which do not allow for emotional intimacy with others Maybe it s because I m a woman maybe it s because I was raised in an Orthodox Jewish subculture maybe there s some other reason, but I felt these claims were, at the very least, overstated and simplistic In my society I witness many counterexamples to what the authors describe And I think the source of boys problems of anyone s problems is always multifactorial, even if boys society is as godawful as the authors claim.This book did have some merits Some of the case studies were interesting, and informative for therapists and educators who are likely to see boys like the ones described in its pages I appreciated the discussion of the evils of physical discipline, which offered language for having this discussion with parents who are using it or wondering about it And although I felt the authors claims were usually exaggerated, I wouldn t go so far are to say that they were baseless.Ultimately, though, while I think a book like this does need to be written and read, I think it would be effective if it offered a balanced view of boys and their challenges.


  5. says:

    When I discovered that I was going to be the father of not just one boy, but two I started to scratch around at the boys in our culture books that seem to have become a popular genre in the last ten years I knew going into that it wasn t just my parenting that I was curious about but if these lens would give me insight into my own childhood and ideas about what composes a good man.The basic argument of the book is that our culture teaches boys to ignore their emotional lives and toughen up too early so that they are so ignorant of their own feelings that they end up repressing them and acting out in other ways like violence and drug alcohol abuse That certainly rings true to my observations What follows is their own experience with boys as school shrinks that prove these points While there s nothing earth shattering here, I did appreciate the forum to consider these things and appreciated that it s not so much a solve the problem book and let s look at the problem in detail and then talk about some basic things that might begin to unravel this heinous knot Hilarious line that is not indicative of the otherwise fine writing found in the book Although there are exceptions, it has been our experience that a high school boy who has long hair and likes Phish or the Grateful Dead is very likely to have said yes to drugs.


  6. says:

    Disappointing From the rave reviews I was hoping for But instead of constructive preventative suggestions, as the title indicates, what I found was a series of case studies of unhappy boys, an analysis of their problems, and a description of how their problems were fixed by therapy with the authors That s not particularly helpful or relevant to a parent as opposed to a professional therapist.


  7. says:

    Okay, so I am obsessed with parenting books Could be worse, right Anyway, I end up reading a lot of books about parenting in general, and a lot of books about parenting girls, but I ve never read one about boys So, maybe it s because this is the first one I ve read, but I adored this book TONS of excellent things to remember when parenting boys I felt like this was the boy version of Queen Bees and Wannabes , which I also loved.A lot of this stuff, especially about middle school and how tough those years are, was completely foreign to me, but my husband confirmed a lot of it.A couple of points that I thought were fascinating Boys have an ingrained sense of homophobia, and terror at having physical touch because other boys might call them gay, so they start balking at the physical touch that they actually really need.Boys are WAY likely than girls to be physically disciplined Actually, likely to be disciplined at all, but the disparity with physical discipline was even .A lot of the elementary educators out there are women, and a lot of them have a difficult time with regular, boisterous boys, leading sometimes to over prescribing of ADD medication, or just giving the boy a sense of misbehavior when really he is just being a regular boy child.A child who gets the sense he is a bad boy or a bad student at a young age might carry that description with him, and never really be able to recover from it, so it is important to try and get elementary teachers that click with your son, and allow a certain amount of boyishness within reason, of course limits are necessary too I could go on, but I just think that if you are into parenting books or have a boy, you should just check this one out There were definitely parts I disagreed with as far as my own parenting style, but the food for thought was invaluable, and I have already recommended it to maaaaany people.


  8. says:

    Filled with case studies of troubled boys, this book really had me questioning how boys grow up to be anything but emotion suppressing violent drug alcohol abusers The author psychologists blame a culture of cruelty and parents caregivers that toughen up boys at a young age, teaching them to ignore their emotions Heavy handed in laying out the boy problem, they do little to offer solutions to combat this emotional illiteracy Read it for the frank discussion of adolescent boys sexuality and the high costs of harsh discipline.


  9. says:

    As a teacher and a parent, I have found this book extremely helpful in understanding boys.


  10. says:

    This book is a must read for fathers, educators, and mothers It shows unequivocally how our educational system and to a certain extent, our culture is structured in a way that will stunt the emotional development of boys.Upon recommendation of a friend, I spent a surprisingly introspective weekend reading this book In it, I saw not only my youth, but the childhood of other men I ve known, and I came away from this book with much greater insight about myself.The anecdotal style of the book sometimes made me feel like I was reading Cosmo, but that style of exposition is what best illustrates emotional concepts and, gee, guess what women s magazines excel at Once I got past this, I enjoyed the read.


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Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys summary pdf Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, summary chapter 2 Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, sparknotes Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys ca47980 In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, PhD And Michael Thompson, PhD Two Of The Country S Leading Child Psychologists, Share What They Have Learned In Than Thirty Five Years Of Combined Experience Working With Boys And Their Families They Reveal A Nation Of Boys Who Are Hurting Sad, Afraid, Angry, And Silent Kindlon And Thompson Set Out To Answer This Basic, Crucial Question What Do Boys Need That They Re Not Getting They Illuminate The Forces That Threaten Our Boys, Teaching Them To Believe That Cool Equals Macho Strength And Stoicism Cutting Through Outdated Theories Of Mother Blame, Boy Biology, And Testosterone, The Authors Shed Light On The Destructive Emotional Training Our Boys Receive The Emotional Miseducation Of BoysKindlon And Thompson Make A Compelling Case That Emotional Literacy Is The Most Valuable Gift We Can Offer Our Sons, Urging Parents To Recognize The Price Boys Pay When We Hold Them To An Impossible Standard Of Manhood They Identify The Social And Emotional Challenges That Boys Encounter In School And Show How Parents Can Help Boys Cultivate Emotional Awareness And Empathy Giving Them The Vital Connections And Support They Need To Navigate The Social Pressures Of Youth

  • Paperback
  • 298 pages
  • Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
  • Dan Kindlon
  • English
  • 03 May 2018
  • 9780345434852

About the Author: Dan Kindlon

Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., a member of the Harvard University faculty for over fifteen years, teaches child psychology and conducts research in child development A leading clinical and research psychologist specializing in behavioral problems in children and adolescents, Dr Kindlon has focused on the diagnosis and treatment of emotional issues, learning disabilities and attention deficit disorders in o